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Ivy Astrix's avatar

This hits so hard.

I really struggled to be okay with being angry. I wasn’t, actually, until very very recently. The therapist I had at the time remarked that it seemed like I couldn’t get angry at the people involved and I think it was for some similar reasons that you mention here wrt not really believing i mattered or that what happened to me was wrong.

There was some point, I think it was midway through post-suicide attempt counselling that it clicked for me for whatever reason. My soul was finally able to say something like girl, you were sexually assaulted. they have some hurt feelings. be angry and fix this.

Righteous anger has always felt like a live wire to me, and I think it is not bad if you plug it into the right outlet.

Fran's avatar

Ivy <3 I'm so glad that you've been able to feel your anger more recently, you have a lot to be deeply angry about. And I'm so glad you were able to just be like, girl I was literally sexually assaulted wtf. Wishing you so much goodness on your recovery, I'm so sorry you've endured things no one should have to <3

Ivy Astrix's avatar

thank you so much fran, your words mean so much to me <3 <3 <3

Max Alexander's avatar

I haven't experienced anything similar to you, but I do really dislike the idea that we would all somehow be better if we didn't get angry. I probably have moved too far in the other direction where I think 'actually its good if we all felt angry', which is probably annoying in a different way, but I think you're right — anger isn't necessarily something moral or immoral, it's just a thing and a part of life, and it can be good or bad depending on the person or situation. Or maybe this person's dad is right: https://x.com/Vanityxz/status/1468983226832199688

As always I think your writing is so powerful and strong — you somehow make me laugh in the middle of deeply communicating what you went through and experienced. Maybe Netflix should sign you for a comedy special

Fran's avatar

LMAOOO ty for that link I really needed that. And more importantly, thank you for the compliments about my humor, which continue to sustain me

Elias Schmied's avatar

❤️

Manuel del Rio's avatar

That was both thoughtful and moving, as so much of your writing is, Frances. After reading you, I always have the feeling that I shouldn't write anything, as it will fail to the standard of what you wrote and feel lame and trite. I am the sort of the person who has generally been quite lucky in life and who generally hasn't had to "feel angry" or cultivate that trait. Recently, while I was reading Dante's Purgatorio, I came to ponder, though, that for the poet (and for the Medieval mindset) anger is not a bad thing, even if it can be excessive. There's righteous anger, which is a properly ordered hatred of evil, injustice, corruption or falsehood, and which acts as a motivator to change. And I feel this is both necessary and useful, and your writing here exemplifies exactly why.